Holden's Farewell
(c) 2003 Brian Madison

I don't do well in social situations
Party small-talk only brings me down
But if you see me by the pool
Cornered by some glass-eyed fool
Please just leave me drifting out to drown

Lately seems I find myself confronted
By the handshake and blue blazer crowd
Wondering if I will faint
From my acts of self-restraint
Every second I don't cry out loud

Excuse me please
Don't know what's wrong
I never meant to live this long
I have no plan
So sorry, dear
Haven't been myself these 20 years

Sincerity is my preoccupation
I scribble words in notebooks for relief
I must look funny when I do
Distracted by some passing truth
And promising my absence will be brief

To overcome my anger and depression
Every time I try it seems I lose
But I'd consider it a win
To feel at ease in my own skin
It doesn't get much better with the booze

Excuse me please
Don't know what's wrong
I never meant to live this long
I have no plan
So sorry, dear
Haven't been myself these 20 years

My Hamptons smile's thin camoflage
For my dreams of self-sabotage
But I do what I have to to survive

Forgive me if my words sound mean
But this is not some Capra scene
I don't remember why I'm still alive

I used to dream that I would be a big star
I never thought that I'd end up like this
At politicking and blackmail
And sycophancy also failed
Naively thought integrity was bliss

I have no mind for intrigues and deceptions
I have no patience with the moneyed class
So take this message when I'm gone
Please be sure to pass it on
Tell them they can kiss my rotten ass

Excuse me please
Don't know what's wrong
I never meant to live this long
I have no plan
So sorry, dear
Haven't been myself these 20 years

Excuse me please
Don't know what's wrong
I never meant to live this long
I have no plan
So sorry, dear
Haven't been myself these 20 years


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