Subject:
Blastfishing.com’s
Going “Ack!” to School, Baby!
From: Brian Madison
Date: August 23, 2005
To: listserv
"The
Memeticist"
Edition
1
"Be the change you
wish to see in the world."
--Gandhi
--> In this issue: new products, new pages, free stuff.
Greetings Once Again, Fellow Traveler!
Zen Master This has been tirelessly toiling away these past months in
the Blastfishing/General Memetics labs in his never-ending mission to
Save Humanity From Itself. I am pleased to announce that his toil has
not been without results. We have recently added these fine new
products to our website, by popular demand of our ever-growing Army of
Memetic Insurgents (AMI)...
Magnetic Sticker Holders Save Valuable Auto Paint Jobs
======================================================
Peel your Blastfishing.com bumper sticker, stick it to the magnet, then
attach the magnet to the car. Voila: removable bumper sticker! Made of
heavy-duty 0.030” FMRS (flexible magnetic rubber stuff). $1.50 each.
Boutique T-shirts are All the Rage
==================================
Yes, we have finally put 10 of our finest precision-engineered memes
onto t-shirts! Just imagine the memetic damage you’ll do to
unsuspecting normals when you proudly stroll down the street, across
campus, or through the shopping mall with “You’re inadequate; buy more
stuff” emblazoned across your chest! No one’s been arrested for this
yet, but we’re certain it’s only a matter of time. Our complete line
includes:
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
Remember: the whole system depends on you not asking too
many questions
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too full
of distracting, pointless crap
Thou shalt think for thyself
Love your country, fear your government
As long as there is power to be sold, there will be
money to buy it [w/graphics of Republican
elephant and
Democrat donkey]
Act like nothing's wrong
So, what have we learned from all this?
Outsource Executive Management
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically we're all screwed
They are simply stunning: white silkscreened artwork on black Hanes
Heavyweight tees in 100% cotton. Shirts are $15.00 each and are
available in Medium, Large, and X-Large. Don’t wear clothes? Buy a few
for a college kid you know and/or as holiday gifts for those cranky
relatives who are always so hard to buy for!
Buttons, Buttons, Who’s Got the Buttons?
========================================
WE’VE got the buttons, baby! Put ‘em on your jackets, put ‘em on your
backpacks, put ‘em on your purses, put ‘em on your guitar straps, put
‘em on your hats! This last option is especially popular with
gymnosophists (got a good dictionary?) who purchase our “Why wear
clothes?” buttons. Our complete collection of 20 designs includes:
Remember: the whole system depends on you not asking too
many questions
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too full
of distracting, pointless crap
Thou shalt think for thyself
Love your country, fear your government
As long as there is power to be sold, there will be
money to buy it
Act like nothing's wrong
So, what have we learned from all this?
Outsource executive management
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically we're all screwed
The journey is the point
Conform or we will crush you
Steal your life back
It's too late for me; save yourself
Power is a drug...we are ruled by addicts
Anti-establishment hippie troublemakers rule [w/cross
graphic]
The louder the shout, the bigger the doubt
Never, never, never trust the ruling class
Why wear clothes?
Clinically proven to make anyone instantly 30% more attractive, cure
dropsy, and remove that stubborn clog. They are simply stunning: white
artwork on black background, 1” diameter, and plastic coated. Buttons
are $1.00 each. Don’t wear buttons? Buy a few for a college kid you
know and/or as holiday gifts for those cranky relatives who are always
so hard to buy for!
You Can Never Have Enough Fridgie Magnets
=========================================
Derived from the above-mentioned buttons. Under clean-room conditions,
we surgically remove the captive pin from the button and replace it
with some double-sided sticky tape and 0.125” thick FMRS. Only the
patients which pull through are sold to customers, after a thorough
post-op recovery. “Steal your life back” is a popular one with dieters.
Our complete collection of 20 designs includes:
Remember: the whole system depends on you not asking too
many questions
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too full
of distracting, pointless crap
Thou shalt think for thyself
Love your country, fear your government
As long as there is power to be sold, there will be
money to buy it
Act like nothing's wrong
So, what have we learned from all this?
Outsource executive management
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically we're all screwed
The journey is the point
Conform or we will crush you
Steal your life back
It's too late for me; save yourself
Power is a drug...we are ruled by addicts
Anti-establishment hippie troublemakers rule [w/cross
graphic]
The louder the shout, the bigger the doubt
Never, never, never trust the ruling class
Why wear clothes?
It is rumored that McGyver recently used one of our fridgie magnets and
a bit of twine to prevent Hoover dam from bursting. They are simply
stunning: white artwork on black background, 1” diameter, and plastic
coated. Buttons are $1.50 each. Don’t have a fridgie? Buy a few for a
college kid you know and/or as holiday gifts for those cranky relatives
who are always so hard to buy for!
Free Stuff and Other Business
=============================
If you haven’t been to our website lately, check out our new additions:
--We now accept payment by Paypal and check (mail order)
--Priceless ruminations by Zen Master This in an
essay titled “Let’s Put a Big Dent in the Memesphere”
--Customer photo page: Please forward photos of you
enjoying your precision-engineered
Blastfishing/General
Memetics memes; we'll put 'em on this page. The
stranger, the better! But wait, it gets even
better:
we’ll send you one FREE sticker, button, or magnet
of
your choice for each photo we use!
--Two different animated .GIFs you can add to your blog
or website to help spread the word about
Blastfishing.
Put one of our .GIFs on your blog or website, and
we’ll
send you one FREE sticker, button, or magnet of your
choice!
Advertising is HIDEOUSLY expensive. In order for us to successfully
carry-out our mission of Saving Humanity From Itself, we need the
support of every AMI member out there in the web’s thriving Independent
Minds eek-o-system. Please help us and get free stuff for yourself!
We can never get enough word-of-mouth advertising, either. Please be
sure to tell everyone you meet on your journey about Blastfishing.com!
(Please consider forwarding this e-mail to a few friends, too!)
Our products and our website are continually evolving; we have received
many excellent suggestions from our AMI in the past, and we hope this
continues. Please, don’t be shy about sending us your ideas. If we use
an idea of yours, we’ll send you a FREE sticker, button, or magnet of
your choice!
Finally, we have begun exploring our first “giving back to the world”
program. We are considering giving a portion of our profits to a worthy
organization. Our favorite so far is WITNESS (www.witness.org):
WITNESS uses the power of video to open the
eyes
of the world to human rights abuses. By
partnering
with local organizations around the globe,
WITNESS
empowers human rights defenders to use video
to shine
a light on those most affected by human rights
violations, and to transform personal stories
of
abuse into powerful tools of justice.
We welcome your thoughts on this.
That’s all the news for now, from what may very well be the ONLY
company that EVER mattered!
Best Regards,
s/BAM/
s/ZMT/
Brian
Madison
Zen Master This (Immortal)