Subject:
Winter Solstice Greetings from Blastfishing's Bipolar Express!
From: Brian Madison
Date: November 26, 2005
To: listserv
"The
Memeticist"
Edition
2
"The
Memeticist"
Edition 2
"It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making
decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who
pay no price for being wrong."
--Thomas Sowell
--> In this issue: Almost-new Products, New Pages, and Free
Stuff.
(Coming to you direct from the 2nd-largest clothing-optional office
building in mid-town Manhattan...)
Greetings once again, fellow traveler!
Need some painfully unique holiday gifts for that college kid and/or
cranky relative who are always so hard to buy for? Zen Master This has
been tirelessly toiling away these past months in the well-heated
Blastfishing/General Memetics labs in his never-ending mission to Save
Humanity From Itself. We recently announced and added these fine new
products to our website, by popular demand of our ever-growing Army of
Memetic Insurgents (AMI)...
Magnetic Sticker Holders Save Valuable Auto Paint Jobs
======================================================
Peel your Blastfishing.com bumper sticker, stick it to the magnet, then
attach the magnet to the car. Voila: removable bumper sticker! Made of
heavy-duty 0.030” FMRS (flexible magnetic rubber stuff).
$1.50 each.
Boutique T-shirts are All the Rage
==================================
Yes, we have finally put 10 of our finest precision-engineered memes
onto t-shirts! Just imagine the memetic damage you’ll do to
unsuspecting normals when you proudly stroll down the street, across
campus, or through the shopping mall with “You’re
inadequate; buy more stuff” emblazoned across your chest! No
one’s been arrested for this yet, but we’re certain
it’s only a matter of time. Our complete line includes:
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
Remember: the whole system depends on you not
asking too
many questions
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too
full
of distracting, pointless crap
Thou shalt think for thyself
Love your country, fear your government
As long as there is power to be sold, there will be
money to buy it [w/graphics of
Republican elephant and
Democrat donkey]
Act like nothing's wrong
So, what have we learned from all this?
Outsource executive management
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically we're
all screwed
They are simply stunning: white silkscreened artwork on black Hanes
Heavyweight tees in 100% cotton. Shirts are $15.00 each and are
available in Medium, Large, and X-Large. Don’t wear clothes?
Buy a few for a college kid you know and/or as holiday gifts for those
cranky relatives who are always so hard to buy for!
Buttons, Buttons, Who’s Got the Buttons?
========================================
WE’VE got the buttons, baby! Put ‘em on your
jackets, put ‘em on your backpacks, put ‘em on your
purses, put ‘em on your guitar straps, put ‘em on
your hats! This last option is especially popular with gymnosophists
(got a good dictionary?) who purchase our “Why wear
clothes?” buttons. Our complete collection of 21 designs
includes:
Don’t trust anyone over
>30< >40< >50< 60
[w/“> <” = cross-out]
Why wear clothes?
Just say gnosis
Remember: the whole system depends on you not
asking too
many questions
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too
full
of distracting, pointless crap
Thou shalt think for thyself
Love your country, fear your government
As long as there is power to be sold, there will be
money to buy it
Act like nothing's wrong
So, what have we learned from all this?
Outsource executive management
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically we're
all screwed
The journey is the point
Conform or we will crush you
Steal your life back
It's too late for me; save yourself
Power is a drug...we are ruled by addicts
Anti-establishment hippie troublemakers rule
[w/cross
graphic]
The louder the shout, the bigger the doubt
Never, never, never trust the ruling class
Clinically proven to make anyone instantly 31.47% more attractive, cure
dropsy, and remove that stubborn clog. They are simply stunning: white
artwork on black background, 1” diameter, and plastic coated.
Buttons are $1.00 each. Don’t wear buttons? Buy a few for a
college kid you know and/or as holiday gifts for those cranky relatives
who are always so hard to buy for!
You Can Never Have Enough Fridgie Magnets
=========================================
Derived from the above-mentioned buttons. Under clean-room conditions,
we surgically remove the captive pin from the button and glue on a
heavy-duty magnet. Only the patients which pull through are sold to
customers, after a thorough post-op recovery. “Steal your
life back” is a popular one with dieters. Our complete
collection of 21 designs includes:
Don’t trust anyone over
>30< >40< >50< 60
[w/“> <” = cross-out]
Why wear clothes?
Just say gnosis
Remember: the whole system depends on you not
asking too
many questions
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too
full
of distracting, pointless crap
Thou shalt think for thyself
Love your country, fear your government
As long as there is power to be sold, there will be
money to buy it
Act like nothing's wrong
So, what have we learned from all this?
Outsource executive management
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically we're
all screwed
The journey is the point
Conform or we will crush you
Steal your life back
It's too late for me; save yourself
Power is a drug...we are ruled by addicts
Anti-establishment hippie troublemakers rule
[w/cross
graphic]
The louder the shout, the bigger the doubt
Never, never, never trust the ruling class
It is rumored that McGyver recently used one of our fridgie magnets and
a bit of twine to prevent Hoover Dam from bursting. They are simply
stunning: white artwork on black background, 1” diameter, and
plastic coated. Buttons are $1.50 each. Don’t have a fridgie?
Buy a few for a college kid you know and/or as holiday gifts for those
cranky relatives who are always so hard to buy for!
This Just In: Bumper Stickers Rock
==================================
Ah, yes, the bumper sticker; the quintessential American existential
commentary in short-form! Picture these classic beauties on your (or
someone else’s) car...
Fun...
Plead insanity
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have
been born that way
I'd rather be anatomically correct than
politically correct
Support the U.N. treaty to ban mimes
Rich and famous (in a parallel universe)
Having a near-life experience
Must. Stay. Conscious.
The best things in life are free ... if you steal
them
Deliberate subversity
I'm so metal I have the unlisted number of the
beast
Our survival requires bold, decisive, visionary
leadership. So basically
we're all screwed.
Feed the waifs [w/stick figure]
Question authority (unless they're giving you
someone else's stuff)
Outsource executive management
Go skinny-dipping
Nude isn't lewd
Why wear clothes?
Consumption, creation, distraction...
You don't create art; art creates you.
Seek constant distraction
You're inadequate; buy more stuff
Define enough
It's not about what you consume; it's about what
you create
Freedom...
It's a free country, but try explaining that to
the IRS.
U.S. out of my wallet
Love your country, fear your government
Never, never, never trust the ruling class
Repeal the PATRIOT act
Geek...
Byte me, nibble me, twiddle my bits
The Little Penguin That Could [w/Tux, the Linux
penguin]
LINUX OR DIE
Power of Penguin [w/Tux, the Linux penguin]
Visualize World Linux
Ride the Penguin [w/Tux, the Linux penguin]
Paranoid Fun...
Conform or we will crush you
Contents under pressure
Act like nothing's wrong
Don't freak out. Okay ... freak out
It's too late for me; save yourself
Now would be a good time to panic
Remember: the whole system depends on you not
asking too many questions.
Keep telling yourself "It's only a movie."
I will not go quietly
Poking Fundies...
Anti-establishment hippie troublemakers rule.
[w/cross]
No smug fundies
Visualize the fundies in their undies
Thou shalt think for thyself
The louder the shout, the bigger the doubt
Fundamentalists have all of the answers and none
of the questions
Politics...
As long as there is power to be sold, there will
be money to buy it
[w/Democrat donkey and
Republican elephant]
If we stop toppling their governments, can we stop
giving them foreign aid?
All elites are suspect
My senator can out-grab your senator
Power is a drug, and we are ruled by addicts
Disgusted 2004 [w/Democrat donkey and Republican
elephant]
Force prevails where reason fails
Democrats rob you; Republicans beat you. Choose
wisely. [w/Democrat donkey
and Republican elephant]
The lesser of two evils is still evil [w/Democrat
donkey and Republican
elephant]
You can't kill an idea with bombs and bullets
Our leaders turn us against one another
You are not their government. They are not theirs.
Recovery and Growth...
Hours are more precious than dollars
Choose happiness
Happily undistinguished
It's not that life's too short; it's that it's too
full of distracting,
pointless crap.
The journey is the point.
got dreams?
What are you waiting for?
>Should< [w/“>
<” = cross-out]
Recovering grownup
Some settling of contents may have occurred during
journey
Duhkha happens
Just say gnosis
Don't trust anyone over >30<
>40< >50< 60 [w/“>
<” = cross-out]
>Fear< Hope [w/“>
<” = cross-out]
Enlighten-up
Steal your life back
So what have we learned from all this?
Happiness costs
Don't do what you should; do what you must
The best things in life are closer than you think
Recently demonstrated by Kelley’s Blue Book to add 31.47% to
the value of any car. They are simply stunning: white artwork on black
background, 3" x 11-3/8", with UV-resistant vinyl and ink. Stickers are
$2.00 each. Don’t have a bumper? Buy a few for a college kid
you know and/or as holiday gifts for those cranky relatives who are
always so hard to buy for!
Free Stuff and Other Business
=============================
If you haven’t been to our website lately, check out our new
additions:
--We now accept payment by Paypal and check (mail order)
--Priceless ruminations by Zen Master This in a
sermon titled “Let’s
Put a Big Dent in the Memesphere”
--Customer photo page: Please forward photos of you
enjoying your precision-engineered
Blastfishing/General
Memetics memes; we'll put 'em on this
page. The
stranger, the better! But wait, it gets
even better:
we’ll send you one FREE
sticker, button, or magnet of
your choice for each photo we use!
--Four different animated .GIFs --
“Variety,” “Freedom,”
“Poking Fundies,”
and “Geek” -- which
you can add to your blog or website to help spread
the word about Blastfishing. Put one of
our .GIFs on your blog or
website, and we’ll send you
one FREE sticker, button, or magnet of your
choice!
Advertising is HIDEOUSLY expensive. In order for us to successfully
carry-out our mission of Saving Humanity From Itself, we need the
support of every AMI member out there in the web’s thriving
Independent Minds eek-o-system. Please help us and get free stuff for
yourself!
We can never get enough word-of-mouth advertising, either. Please be
sure to tell everyone you meet on your journey about Blastfishing.com!
(Please consider forwarding this e-mail to a few friends, too!)
Our products and our website are continually evolving; we have received
many excellent suggestions from our AMI in the past, and we hope this
continues. Please, don’t be shy about sending us your ideas.
If we use an idea of yours, we’ll send you a FREE sticker,
button, or magnet of your choice!
Finally, we have been exploring our first “giving back to the
world” program. We are considering giving a portion of our
profits to a worthy organization. Our favorite so far is WITNESS
(www.witness.org):
WITNESS uses the power of
video to open the eyes
of the world to human rights
abuses. By partnering
with local organizations
around the globe, WITNESS
empowers human rights
defenders to use video to shine
a light on those most affected
by human rights
violations, and to transform
personal stories of
abuse into powerful tools of
justice.
We welcome your thoughts on this.
That’s all the news for now, from what may very well be the
ONLY company that EVER mattered!
Best Regards,
s/BAM/
s/ZMT/
Brian
Madison
Zen Master This (Immortal)