Blastfishing
in America: About Blastfishing/General Memetics
"Free
your mind, and your ass will follow!"
--George Clinton
It all began in Atlanta in
1984. The immortal Zen Master This, posing as Morton "Lefty"
Wright, was working as a Senior Applied Memeticist in the Domestic Psy
Ops
department of a top-secret federal agency located in the basement of an
office building at 190 Marietta Street NW. It was a steady paycheck,
but ZMT always knew
that one day he would have to break free from the institutional mold
and get started on the noble but burdensome task of Saving Humanity
From Itself. For this was his reason for being.
One lunch hour, while dining at the University Grill and reading a book
on
chaos theory, ZMT unknowingly bit into the Cosmic Biscuit of Truth,
which had been quite intentionally served to him by one Phyllis Dean.
(Phyllis was posing as a waitress, but was actually a member of a
shadowy subversive cult known only as "The Blorch" by people who follow
shadowy subversive cults.) At that instant, ZMT saw with crystal
clarity the Four Legs of the Stool of Human Salvation: Recovery,
Growth, Freedom, and Fun.
He immediately quit his job, emptied his small checking account, and
moved to the Yucca Flat's "Uncanny Valley" in the New Mexico desert,
where he lived on giant sunflower seeds and
water for three years while formulating his grand plan.
Photo still
of the original Vermont roadside stand.
From Ken
Burns' award-winning PBS series "General
Memetics: The Early Years
"
It was to be a humble beginning: a small roadside stand in Vermont's
Green Mountains. Winters were not kind. But ZMT knew that his work was
far too important for him to fail. ZMT's messages of hope and optimism
seemed to resonate with the natives of America's funkiest state, but
soon it became clear to him that Saving Humanity From Itself would
require spreading memes farther and wider than was possible from a
humble roadside stand.
It was time to move to New York City.
Once in New York, ZMT soon became the toast of the town, dispensing
enlightenment and memes to socialites and intellectuals of every
persuasion. Interviews in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Atlantic
Monthly, Harper's, and others followed. Even the French and Quebeqoi
learned English just so they could adopt our memes. General Memetics,
and its
subsidiary Blastfishing, were booming. At one point, shipments from the
company's stock memes catalog were growing by 50% per month!
Mercifully, business began to stabilize shortly after General Memetics
joined the Fortune 500. Today, General Memetics/Blastfishing has 40,000 employees and offices in 168 cities worldwide. Our world
headquarters occupy the top five floors of the second-largest
clothing-optional office building in mid-town Manhattan. On any given
day you can still find ZMT weighing prose and koans or mixing metaphors
in
the "Genmeme" labs, pumping irony in the company gym, or eating a ham
on wry at the company cafeteria.
Despite his unparalleled material success, Zen Master This continues to
work hard for all mankind; a true labor of love. He knows that the work
of Saving Humanity From Itself is a never-ending challenge. Fortunately
for humanity, he is immortal.
We hope that you will join ZMT in the noble work of Saving Humanity
From Itself by acquiring and proudly displaying one or more of our
precision-engineered, guaranteed* memes from our catalog.
*Our
exclusive money-back guarantee: All of our memes are guaranteed to
reverse the decline of
Western civilization, or your money back!
